Blessings in Abundance!

How do you look at one of your parents and come face to face with their mortality?  I know we are all going to die one day, but how do you honestly prepare yourself for the loss of a loved one?  Truth is, you can't. You can't imagine a day when you won't hear their voice on the phone. A day when the house is not filled with their laughter or corny jokes.

Last week, I came face to face with those issues as Papa was rather urgently prepped for open heart surgery.  He had been sick for a very long time with shortness of breath, fainting spells and unexplained abdominal distention.  Nana took him to every doctor she could think of, including his cardiologist and pulmonologist and they ALL missed the diagnosis - congestive heart failure.

On Friday, the 18th, Papa's feet and legs started to swell.  That was the last straw for Nana an she hustled him to the Emergency Room at Lubbock Heart Hospital.  The very competent ER doc finally got the diagnosis correct and admitted him to the hospital.  Over the course of the next 2 days, with the help of lasiks, they drained 17 lbs of fluid off of him.

The following Monday, they did an angiogram of his heart and the abnormal valve he was born with was functioning so poorly, they put him on a balloon pump that did the job for his heart.  Nana called an said surgery was scheduled for the next day and to get home.  I frantically started tying up loose ends at work, made an appointment later that day to get the oil changed in my car and left.  I stopped at Jackson's school to give him a hug and a kiss and to let him know where I was going.

I got to Lubbock too late on Monday to see Papa, who was in CCU due to the balloon pump, but me and Nana got there early on Tuesday so I could see him before surgery.  The change in his complexion and face was remarkable!  Amazing how puffy a person could look with an extra 17 lbs of fluid!  Dana and Richard were in in route from Michigan and would not arrive in time to see Papa before surgery.  Thanks to modern technology, when they hit DFW, I was able to Face Time them on the Iphone so Dana could see and talk to Papa.

One of the hardest moments of my life, watching them wheel him away to surgery.  I held on to Nana and cried.  The week before, my beloved friend Mandee Buchanan Englehardt lost her mother to the exact same surgery.  They buried her on Saturday and the next Tuesday, they wheel my dad off with no guarantees.  Mandee and I spoke before and she was very supportive of me at a time when it was entirely too close to home.  I am deeply humbled by her friendship and caring spirit.

Papa was wheeled away at 12:30.  Nurses and OR techs came out frequently to give us updates and they were all positive.  It did not take away the anxiety.  I sat in a corner with my computer and worked.  Not because I had to, but because it took my mind off of what was happening just down the hall.

Papa was born with an abnormal aortic valve which only had 2 of the 3 flaps.  We have known for a long time it would need replacing, but since he is insulin dependent, he required a tissue valve, whose shelf life is only about 10 years.  The plan of action by the surgeon was to replace the valve and do three by-passes.  He did say that through the angiogram, his heart muscle looked strong and was confident of a good result.  Still did not take away the anxiety.

By about 6:00, the finally came out to say all had gone well.  Papa does have osteoporosis as one of the wires they used to suture the sternum pulled through.  Richard, who was a surgical nurse for a cardiac team, said he simply yanked on it too hard.  Surgeon said everything went according to plan and that we should be able to see him in about an hour.

What a long hour!!!  Once they finally let Nana, me and Dana into CCU, it was a relief to see him, but difficult to look at as he lay so still, hooked up to a bazillion different things including the balloon pump, ventilator, external pace maker etc.  On a side note:  I HATE the sound of a ventilator.  It brings back awful memories of when Allison got bacterial meningitis and was on a vent for 10 days.  10 days of listening to that machine keep her alive. I call it the evil noise maker.

They did prepare us for Papa to take longer to come off the vent and some of the other supportive equipment due to the fact that his heart had been struggling for so long and his breathing had been compromised for so long.  He did take an extra 24 hours to do just about everything other open heart surgery patients had done.  Which is ok - it's not a race.

I cannot even begin to tell you how supportive the staff was/is at Lubbock Heart Hospital.  Every single person involved in Papa's surgery and recovery were extraordinary.  Every single one of them recognized our anxiety as family and very patiently explained everything and kept us updated throughout the day.  They informed us of their expectations of us as family, where we could stand, where we couldn't, made sure we were eating and resting, reminded us to make sure Nana slept etc.   Even housekeeping would enter the room and greet us by name and introduce themselves.  Top notch facility.

The first time I heard his voice after he came off the vent - I cried.  It was music to my ears.  As the days went on, his personality started to emerge and it was wonderful.  Including his dry sense of humor.  He was still pretty loopy from the anesthesia and evidently did not believe Dana and I when we answered his questions as he blurted out: "yall are feeding me so full of shit, it's beginning to smell funny in here".  Dana and I laughed out loud.  He also told the respiratory therapist I was a scaredy cat. Which is true?  I won't deny it.

Papa is still in the hospital as he has some fluid on his left lung and his heart keeps slipping into Afibrilation.  Doctors want those issues better stabilized before he gets sent home.

The farthest I received prayers for Papa was from Sweden.  Prayers were going up from all over.  It was wonderful to have all that support.  My friend Amador Villasenor from Tech sent me the following prayer via Facebook.

"Father in heaven, grant Mr. Parks comfort in his suffering.  

Give him courage when afraid, patience when afflicted, 

hope when dejected, and when alone, assure him of the 

prayerful support of your holy people.  

We ask this through Christ our Lord."  

That one moved me to tears.

It was a tough week, but strangely comforting in that we were all together as family.  We laughed, we cried (Ok, me and Nana cried) and we helped support each other.  I think I did a pretty good job in remaining calm, but it helped that all the nurses around me stayed calm. If they were calm, I was calm.

Thank you Lord for not calling him home yet.  I am not through with him, but I do realize how incredibly fortunate I have been to have such wonderful parents.  I have been blessed beyond measure.